After my first long-term relationship ended, I found that the movies recommended by various magazines and creators only deepened my heartache. They often felt unrealistic and encouraged a false sense of hope, which isn't helpful for getting over a breakup. So, I decided to curate a short list of movies that not only leave you feeling good but are also genuinely relatable.
I shared this part of this list on my personal TikTok, where it received nearly 59k views. In this article, I'll go into depth on each of these movies—without giving away any spoilers—and explain why they’re particularly helpful. And, I will include some popular breakup films that you might want to avoid, at least in the early stages of a breakup.
(500) Days of Summer
Following Tom (Joseph Gordon Levitt), a hopeless romantic, relives his undefined relationship with Summer (Zoey Deschanel), an avid love-denier. This film is perfect for those in situationships, as it explores the dynamics between two people with differing views on commitment—one longing for a relationship, the other avoiding it. Interestingly, this film is from the male perspective, which we do not often see in this genre. However, viewers of any gender can relate to Tom’s experience. It also does a great job at pointing out signs that your partner is avoidant, which may seem obvious but can be clouded by the rose colored glasses we put on when we attach to someone.
La La Land
This film is perfect for a breakup surrounding career goals/life dreams. Sebastian (Ryan Gosling) is a jazz pianist eager to revive the love of jazz and open his own club, while Mia (Emma Stone) is a barista with aspirations of becoming an actress. Their romance blossoms as they bond over their similar struggling artist lifestyles. However, as their careers progress respectively, they struggle to maintain time for their relationship. This film resonates with dreamers, illustrating that a lack of compatibility doesn't equate to a lack of love.
Legally Blonde
Finally, something more fun! Although, I doubt that I have to describe the premise of this iconic film, here’s what you need to know— Elle (Reese Witherspoon) gets broken up with by her college boyfriend and in an effort to win him back she decides to follow him to Harvard Law School. This is such a feel-good movie that will lift your spirits after a breakup.It beautifully illustrates that if someone has decided you’re not the right fit for them, no amount of effort will change their mind. And that decision might just show you what’s actually meant for you.
Someone Great
A film perfect for those coming out of long term relationships. Jenny (Gina Rodriguez) plans one last night out with her two best friends right after being dumped by her boyfriend of nine years, just before she relocates across the country for her dream job. This is the breakup movie. It can be particularly helpful for those navigating relationship endings during significant life transitions—especially for those who have experienced relationships during transformative periods like college and post-grad life, or those who are grappling with the possibility of doing long-distance. As someone who moved across the country partly due to a breakup, I found this movie incredibly helpful in my healing process.
When We First Met
Noah (Adam Devine) is in love with his best friend Avery (Alexandra Daddario), but she’s engaged to someone else. After discovering a photo booth from the night they first met, he drunkenly decides to use it and finds himself transported back to that day. Using his previous knowledge about Avery, he sets out to win her heart. This film is perfect for anyone navigating unrequited love and complicated friendships. It’s a comedic film that will keep you in a positive mindset!
Now, here are some films that are often suggested to watch after a breakup that you should actually avoid watching until you’re in a more stable place in your healing process.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
This film is on everyone’s list, and I genuinely don’t understand why. I remember many of the foreign students in my film program calling it the most romantic movie of all time, which may give you some insight on what this film might leave you feeling. While it is a fantastic film, it’s also incredibly melancholic and promotes the idea of soulmates or twin flames. If you were in an on-again, off-again relationship or are hoping to get back together with an ex, it would be best to avoid this movie.
He’s Just Not That Into You
This film follows various characters dealing with different relationship problems, with a particular focus on Gigi (Ginnifer Goodwin). She meets Alex (Justin Long) who essentially becomes her wingman and helps her decode mixed signals from the men she’s dating. While the other storylines feel more relatable and grounded, Gigi’s feels unrealistic, especially since her savior is a man. I would recommend avoiding this film—not because it’s overly depressing, but because it can be quite frustrating.
Past Lives
A beautifully crafted film, but I recommend holding off on watching it for now! It’s especially impactful if you’ve experienced long-distance or childhood love. The film explores the notion of fate shaping our relationships from past lives, which can be tricky territory when navigating a breakup. I found myself in tears within the first twenty minutes because it reminded me of a relationship that ended years ago. So, while I definitely encourage you to watch it, it might be best to wait if your breakup is still fresh.m
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